A Parenting Coordinator May Make Things Easier

When two people divorce and there are children involved, the stress is magnified. Conflicts can grow exponentially and parents sometimes cannot see through the intense emotions. That is why help exists in many forms, such as the parenting coordinator. Parenting coordination brings in an impartial third party to help settle child-related disputes in a divorce. In some cases, this is the best possible way for everyone to come to agreement on what is best for the children.

Trusting a Coordinator

When conflicts reach all-time highs and parents are finding it difficult, or impossible to negotiate the children’s needs, a coordinator can help. Parenting coordinators are there to settle disputes; they are particularly helpful when the arguments move from finances and assets, and into family matters. Getting this sort of help can prevent the issues from harming the children. This doesn’t typically occur during the divorce. Rather, the coordinator enters post-divorce to help parents implement parenting plans. The coordinator takes the court-ordered plan and helps parents develop it, and work through it.

Though the divorce is over, executing a parenting plan can still be daunting; the feelings during divorce don’t always dissipate, at least not right away. Parenting coordinators help ex-spouses make the parenting plan or timeshare schedule work. They also help manage disputes that may arise later. If the parents still cannot agree on details, though the court has already made decisions, the coordinator aids the parents in making them work.

Transitions

Parenting coordinators have the authority to make small changes to schedules and timeshare details. They also help clarify things to parents. Those scheduling decisions may include getting healthcare, education, engaging the children in extracurricular activities, and moving the children from one parent to another. Parenting styles and communication will also be negotiated.

Overall, all of this help is not about forcing parents to adhere to the rules set before them. It is about giving them new confidence in parenting-necessary for many, since parenting after divorce can be a challenge. This reduces a lot of anxiety for everyone and may resolve a lot of conflict. It also may help parents be more involved in the children’s lives than ever before, which can, in turn, help the children adjust better. These are the true purposes of having a parenting coordinator enter and help; the benefits to both the parents and children in the long term.

From these experiences, parents can gain a great deal of skills in conflict resolution that could be very useful throughout the future. Of course, possibly the most important benefits of coordinators are those for the children; protecting children is part of the court’s job, and that means making sure parents provide the best possible situations for the children after a divorce.

At Miller Law, we know Florida family law. We want to help you get through your divorce quickly, affordably, and properly. Ask us about making those transitions easier on you and your whole family, particularly your children.

Things You Shouldn’t Tell Your Lawyer During Divorce

You should be able to trust your divorce attorney enough to say anything and not be concerned that it will be revealed, unless legally necessary, of course. There are, however, a few things that are best left unsaid when dealing with a lawyer; these things can slow things down, cause misunderstandings, and make things more difficult, overall. Avoid making statements like the following to your lawyer, and instead, merely ask questions and bring up concerns. Trust him or her to handle your case professionally.

“I want this done because my friend said so.”

Everyone’s divorce is different. Everyone’s understanding of divorce is different, and there are plenty of people expressing opinions over divorce when they have never experienced it themselves, and when they have no legal knowledge. That does not mean that they are always wrong, but it means that you should trust your lawyer, first. So, if you heard something from a friend, family member, or anyone else, ask your attorney about it. However, don’t make demands based on hearsay.

“I don’t care how it’s done, I just want it done fast.”

This is a poor way to begin your divorce, as well go through it. Your lawyer will advise you all along the way; that is his or her job. If you resist listening to that information and advice, you could regret it later. You could be faced with results and consequences that you weren’t expecting, but for which you could have been prepared if you had not been in such a rush. You could lose the opportunity to get what you deserve, or even more than you expected if you push your attorney to rush things. Plus, it can make proceedings more difficult for your lawyer. Take your time, and let your lawyer handle your divorce in a timely, but appropriate manner.

Avoid using time with a lawyer to vent and become very emotional.

Your time is very valuable, as is your attorney’s time. It costs you money, too. While feeling emotional and shedding some tears is perfectly normal and acceptable, your lawyer’s office is not the time to let that overwhelm you so that you take up that time venting. If you need time to grieve and express those emotions to someone who can listen, or offer help with them, talk to loved ones, or see a professional. There is no shame in getting help for anything in your divorce, but save your attorney’s time for details of the divorce.

Don’t tell your lawyer that you’re stalking your spouse, or that you’ve threatened him or her.
In fact, you should never do either of the above things. They cause problems that could easily lead to difficulties with your divorce negotiations, and even jail time. If you tell your lawyer this, your lawyer will advise you against anything that may harm your case. Depending upon the nature of the statement or threat, your lawyer may also be legally obligated to report it. You don’t want your divorce lawyer to have to help you with an arrest later, too.

When it comes time to divorce, compile your list of questions and concerns, and see your lawyer. You shouldn’t try to tell your lawyer what to do, or that you’re doing something illegal. Instead, let your lawyer tell you how to handle things and never proceed without that professional legal advice. For advice on Florida divorce, call Miller Law now.