Mediating Emotions During Divorce

Being asked for a divorce, or to ask for a divorce can be incredibly devastating. However, sadness and devastation are not the only emotions you may feel. In fact, you may feel any combination of emotions throughout the process, and many of them may conflict with one another. For example, while your initial feelings when you make the decision to divorce may be those of relief and anticipation after years in an unhappy marriage, they might be followed, or made complex by a mixture of feelings, like anxiety. These changeable emotions and apparent conflictions are normal. So, how do you mediate them when you’re busy trying to get divorced and still live your daily life?

Emotions come in waves and stages, and there are no real rules about what you may feel at any one time. There are also no defined methods for how you should manage these emotions, either. Of course, you don’t want to handle these feelings by hurting anyone else; rather, you should find a method for mediation that works well for you so that you don’t become overwhelmed by all you will feel at any given time.

Finding Emotional Mediation that Works for You   

The purpose of mediating conflicting emotions is to make feeling them less difficult, and less distracting for you. It is not meant to help you avoid feeling them-just to help you feel them one at a time, if possible. That way, you can work through them all fully.

Pause and Evaluate: You first need to figure out what it is you’re feeling. So, when you feel conflicting emotions, stop. Identify them. Are you feeling angry, but uncertain about why you’re angry? Are you a little happy about something, but angry about it, too? Are you incredibly sad, but also relieved? You might feel even more than two emotions in a period, or you may navigate through several, with each of them crossing one another at some point. That is normal. Breathe, and then try to name all your feelings.

Remember It’s Normal: There is no shame in your mixture of emotions. If you start to feel guilt or shame for feeling anything, remind yourself of that. Hopefully, you an avoid yet another overwhelming feeling.

Get Active for Each, and for All: Each emotion you have needs addressing; it needs something for relief. Sometimes, the activities you do to address one feeling will work for another, too. When you identify an emotion, work it out with an activity. For example, if exercise helps your anger, find time to work it out that way. If you feel both anger and anxiety, mix two activities that address each, such as exercising while listening to music that soothes your anxiety. Or, perhaps you have one activity that works for all your conflicting emotions. As long as it is healthy and it works, you should do it.

Get Help: Don’t be ashamed to seek professional help if you need it.

While you navigate your feelings, we can help you by navigating your divorce. Let us make it easier on you. Call Miller Law today.