Staying Calm and Reasonable During Divorce

Divorce is stressful and that stress can sometimes bring out the worst in people. It is notorious for being a messy process. It does not have to be so, however. It requires effort, but you can conquer the urge to become angry and unreasonable, and, instead, stay calm and reasonable during your divorce.

When a divorce is stressful, any conversation with your spouse can feel overwhelming. Even small matters may seem like too much to handle. Everyone manages these circumstances differently, but even the most patient person can be pushed over the edge. This can affect your ability to make decisions that are best for your children, for you, and for the future. Choices on details like finances, assets, custody, and more could suffer if you’re judgement is clouded by negative emotion. In order to prevent emotional explosions each time you are faced with your spouse, you will have to maintain your ability to handle conflict.

Take some time to prepare.

Take as much time as you need to relax, contemplate, and breathe before a meeting with your spouse. If you know the meeting will be stressful, or you know that you are capable of a strong negative reaction with any provocation, then find time prior to the occasion to pause. Everyone calms themselves differently. You can try meditation, quiet, soothing music, and anything else that help you feel better about things.

Work on stress release more often.

Whatever you do to relieve stress normally, do it a little more often. If you go to the gym and workout, add an extra trip to your schedule. If you go for walks, go out with a friend, and any other healthy, calming activity, do it as often as is feasible. You may find that you’re able to manage the stress of divorce more easily and better see the potential bright future ahead once it is over.

Try to maintain some sympathy for your spouse.

If your spouse becomes angry, irrational, or provokes you, try not to take it personally. Though you may be frustrated, angry, in pain, or some mixture of all those feelings, your spouse is probably feeling the same. Circumstances vary, but if you can manage some compassion for your spouse, it will make things much easier for you.

Let your lawyer do the talking.

Sometimes, it is simply best to stay silent. If you are angry and feel an outburst coming, speaking could not only cause more strain, but it could affect the outcome of any negotiations. In order for you and your spouse to get what you need without a trial and more lengthy process, you must be willing to discuss and negotiate. If your emotions cloud your ability to be reasonable, and then you express yourself when you’re at your most angry, you could find yourself in a fight for what you want and need. Your lawyer’s job is to be your representative. He or she is trained to handle these circumstances. You paid your hard-earned money for their services, so let them take over for you. A good lawyer will discuss any decisions with you, first.

Divorce is hard, but there are ways to make it easier. Though it may not be simple, staying calm and reasonable, even during the hardest parts could make a significant difference. Let us help you at Miller Law; we’ll manage the divorce so that you can focus more on yourself.