Why Divorce May be the Healthier Choice

Divorce is stressful and hard on everyone involved. However, so is an unhappy marriage. Everyone’s paths and choices are different; some may choose to stay and continue trying to work it out by seeking counseling, making arrangements to keep the marriage afloat, or merely staying together for the children. In some cases, however, divorce may end up being the healthier option.

The stress of trying to keep a marriage together may be far more than going through a divorce.
In some cases, spouses really can work it out. However, if a marriage is too damaged to salvage, working to save it may only draw out the struggle. This is true for spouses and children alike. Working to save a marriage often takes time, emotional and psychological toil, and sometimes money. All the while, spouses often feel it necessary to “put on a brave face” for the children, other family, and the rest of the world. It may often feel as though you must both put your life on hold to save your marriage, while simultaneously moving forward as the rest of life goes on; it can feel impossible.

That does not mean that it is, of course; if both partners are dedicated to trying, perhaps the marriage can be saved. It simply means that the struggle may be long, difficult, time consuming, and altogether extremely stressful. It may be worth pausing to consider whether both of you are truly dedicated, and whether you really have a chance at the result you want. If not, divorce may be the better option for everyone.

Children often know more than adults realize, or want to acknowledge.

Parents’ instincts are generally to protect their children. They generally do so by trying to maintain a world in which their children may keep a sense of innocence. It’s perfectly acceptable to want to stay together for the children. However, it’s also important to remember that, sometimes, children understand and see more than parents want. It’s almost never a parent’s intention to let the child see the pain and anger between parents, but that cannot always be controlled. Parents may also have “blind spots” when it comes to their children-convincing themselves that the kids don’t know what’s happening when, in reality, they do.

Thus, sometimes, staying together for the children is doing less good than parents realize. In fact, it may be healthier for the whole family if the spouses divorce, live their separate, potentially-happier lives, and continue to play their roles as parents. It may make them happier, better parents.

At times, it’s just about letting go.

There are occasions when the marriage is simply over. One or both parties cannot change anything to make it better, thus remaining together probably means more misery. However, avoiding that requires letting go and not everyone is capable of doing so without some struggle. It is understandable; a marriage is a deep and serious commitment, and to have it end is no small thing. But, sometimes, letting go is the healthy thing.

If you’re considering divorce in Florida, call us at Miller Law. It’s not for everyone, but we can advise you, should you decide to pursue that course.